Dear friends,

Forget the “we all fall down” part. But we did have the ashes. Monday a strong wind from the north carried ashes from the California wildfires and drifted through the cracks in the windows. Our kitchen window was shut, but I swept the floor three times on Monday, and each time I collected fine black ashes. On a normal day, I would describe the orphanage as dirty, but on Monday and Tuesday, words like filthy, begrimed, cruddy, sooty, and scuzzy might give you a little idea of what it was like.

Both days the children didn’t have school because of the smoke. Imagine about sixty children in one huge room all day long. Monday we took them upstairs and took pictures of them individually and by families. Tuesday I took groups of about ten children up for about forty-five minutes each to read stories to them and have them read books. They loved it. The rest of the day they sat in the dining room and watched TV. I was glad when Wednesday came and they could go to school.

Sunday we were excited about taking Berta, one of the moms, and Lupita, her daughter, to Tecate with us. Berta has a nineteen-year-old son who is living there all by himself, and Berta has been worried about him. Suddenly, Sunday morning, Lupita was told she couldn’t go with us after all. Berta was so sad she cried the whole forty-five minute drive to Tecate.

Berta has been here at the orphanage only a few days longer than I have been, and this is the very first time that I know of that she has been allowed to leave. She was told that this is the only time she will be allowed to come with us. When we came back, she sighed and said, “Back to the jail once again.” My heart aches for her. The moms have two choices: Here or the streets. For the sake of their children, they stay here.

Homework, homework, homework. I’ve been helping the children with their English homework, and any time they need computers, I am supposed to supervise them. Some days everybody needs help, and all at the same time. Thursday was one of those days. They start homework around 4:00. “Lily, I need to look for information on smog.” “Lily, I need pictures of animals.” “Lily, I need help.” “Lily, I need to investigate honesty.” Some of the girls were mad at me because I couldn’t help them when they needed help. At 9:10PM, I finally finished with the last request (I did have a break to eat and shower).

Thankfully, not every day is that bad. I usually finish around 6:30 or 7:00. I am trying to teach them how to look for the information themselves, and how to copy and paste and re size pictures or text, and then print. That will save me a lot of time, plus give them valuable tools for later. I find my patience growing very thin sometimes when I am helping the children, especially when so many are demanding my help. Please pray that I would be able to be more gracious with them than I have been.

They have really strange homework assignments. Assignments like looking for a picture of mickey mouse or tweety or Daddy Yonke (some famous singer, I think it is). I was becoming suspicious that sometimes their requests are not for homework, but only for personal use. I pray for discernment. One evening Esmita came to me, and said, “I have a confession to make. That picture for Daddy Yonke was not for homework. Can you forgive me?” I told her of course I can forgive her, because God forgives me. She said she didn’t want to have that on her conscience.

I am amazed how these children seem to have a concept of right and wrong, in spite of the fact that they never go to church. They have a class in school that they call “Valores” (values), so maybe that’s where they learn some of those things.

I was frustrated because since school started, the upstairs room is used for homework all afternoon, and I couldn’t have my Bible Class. I was praying that if God wants me to have it, He could somehow make a way. Mother Virginia said I could have the class in the dining room, but I thought all the traffic in the room and the noise would be too distracting. I finally decided to give it a try, and I am thrilled how well it goes. The awesome thing is that often some of the moms are there, too, and they hear it. I decided that perhaps the dining room is where God wanted the Bible class in the first place, and that’s why the quieter upstairs room didn’t work out. Wow.

We picked Sharmen Kropf up at the airport on Tuesday, and tomorrow we take Debbie Myers. We sure know the San Diego airport by now :-). Debbie has been a good, steady worker, and we will miss her. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her complain about anything. I think the babies especially will miss her, because she would often go back and hold them or watch one of those Baby Einstein videos with them.

God bless you all with His presence this week!

Peace,
Liliana

Dear friends,

This morning I got a taste of what it might be like to be a parent. Perla, the little girl who sleeps in our room, usually sleeps till 7:30 or 8:00. But this morning she knew it was Saturday, so she woke up at 5:30. “Mama!” she whined. I told her to go back to sleep. She actually did, but of course I couldn’t. Oh well! I guess Saturday mornings can be used for things other than sleep.

Juana left. Just like that. No warning. Juana is a twenty-year-old mom who left her four year old son, Daniel, here. Every time she would see me during the day, she would say, “Lily.” When we left for town, she would always say jokingly, “I’m coming, too.” Now I wonder if perhaps she wasn’t joking. She would often comment on how boring it is around here. Someone told me Juana left to get a job outside. She is a good worker, so hopefully things go well for her. The crazy thing is that Daniel seems happier since she’s gone. Before, he would see her during the day, and cry because he couldn’t be with her. I wonder what goes through his mind.

The “nameless” baby left just as suddenly. When we came back Sunday night, he was gone. The mom missed him too much, and took him away. We were rather relieved. Better for the baby, better for us.

The boys’ clothes were moved out to the new shelves. But within a week I couldn’t tell which shelves were for pants or which shelves were for shirts. There is no system. One incredible jumble. Yesterday we painted the shelves. Our plan is to label the shelves: Big Pants, Medium Pants, Small pants, Big Shirts, Medium Shirts, Small Shirts. We are HOPING maybe the labels will make a difference (I asked Carolyn this morning why we still dare to hope??).

The children do not have personal clothes, the clothes are free for all. One day Juan will be wearing the shirt that says “Here Comes Trouble,” and the next week Luis will be wearing it. This week Manuel wears the “I’m on a Mission to Annoy You” shirt and the next week, Angel. Joselyn might be wearing one green sock and one pink sock. They don’t seem to mind.

For school the children wear uniforms. I love to see them in the mornings, their hair stiff with gel, looking all clean and starched. You would never guess they come from a disorganized, dirty orphanage.

I feel the sorriest for the new children. Liset came a week or so ago. This morning she was crying when I took Perla back to the nursery, so I held her for awhile. I actually got her to laugh. When I left, she started crying again. I keep thinking of the phrase, “visit the fatherless in their affliction.” Affliction describes it well. I am amazed that the children do eventually adjust. I do wonder what for permanent scars are being left on their poor hearts.

“Good morning, Liliana,” the little boys say as soon as I step out of our room and they come to me for their morning hug. We get lots of hugs here. Just walking through the dining room can be a real chore. The other day Joselyn and Antonio and Jonatan and Esmeralda almost dragged me down with their hugs. Esmeralda said, “Te quiero mucho” (I love you very much). Those moments help make up for some of the crazy ones.

We have these cool Baby Einstein DVD’s that we watch with the toddlers. They love it. I’m not sure if they like the DVD’s or if they like the fact that they can sit on our laps when we watch them. The DVD’s are cool, very slow paced and colorful, quite the opposite of some of the crazy stuff these children watch on TV. I would throw the TV out if I were the boss. The very first day.

The next two paragraphs are from Carolyn’s letter (with her permission):

“Little 5 year old alejandra is another sad child. she’s only been here several weeks and she cries for her mama often. her older brother luis was here when we came and when he sees her crying he’ll go to her, put his arms around her and give her a kiss. he does what he can to comfort her and you can tell she loves him. it’s great to see siblings looking out for each other here!

Jabier just recently had his 1rst birthday and he’s already starting to walk. that’s a big improvement from when the babies were in their cribs all day & rarely got the chance to try out their legs. since we’re taking the toddlers outside and letting them run around they’re also getting more confident on their feet. it’s fun to see them starting to run now instead of toddle.”

Oh, I almost forgot!!! Gordon and Janelle’s new baby arrived last Saturday. Olivia Carol Ogburn. The siblings are all thrilled, especially Ariana, because Olivia is her only sister. We had church at Jacob and Amy’s house instead of Gordon’s. Jacob made us his famous frappucino’s in the afternoon. No wonder we like Sundays.

God bless you all with His peace.

Only because of Him,
Liliana

Dear friends,

This morning we had the luxury of sleeping without hearing children racing up and down the hall at 6:00, and no baby crying in the night, and no yelling. We are spending the weekend here in Tecate at the Shining Light Children’s Home. We slept in this morning (I won’t tell you how long), and ate cereal in bed. Now we are having a long email session at an Internet cafe here in town. And I’m listening to some beautiful music while I’m typing. Heavenly.

Last weekend we spent some time at the San Diego beach, and didn’t take time for our regular emailing session. I figured nobody would miss my ramblings anyway :-). San Diego has the longest pier on the west coast. People stared at us a lot. Renee heard one person say, “Look at that Amish girl! She has a camera and a cell phone!” Another person said, “Look at them. I think they are Quakers.”

Last Friday Gordon and Curtis took us to El Faro, another orphanage about thirty-five minutes away to check out the options of helping out there some. So this Tuesday we spent the day there. The atmosphere there seems very relaxed compared to the hurry and bustle and noise of our orphanage. We housecleaned most of the kitchen in the morning (it wasn’t that terribly dirty), and spent time with the children in the afternoon. They enjoyed the flannel graph story I had for them.

Right now they have about 42 children. They are divided into about four groups, and each group has their own dorm, and a mother who takes care of that dorm. The mothers seem to take pride in taking care of their dorm, and things definitely seem more orderly. Everything seemed almost too good to be true. We are curious to know what our impression will be after we spend more time there (our impression of our orphanage has definitely changed from the first day we came). We are planning to spend one day a week at El Faro.

This week and last week we were inundated with food. One day we were presented a whole roasted chicken. Another day, lamb meat, along with cilantro and onions and salsa and peppers. Monday it was chicken with mole. One evening after a shopping trip, Euracio and Uriel brought back cottage cheese and yogurt and bread and eggs and Gatorade and ham and cheese. We didn’t have to do any cooking this week until Thursday. We are eating like queens.

We laugh at the randomness of it all. “Random” is a word we use a lot here. One day we are told that from now on things will be done a certain way. A week later things are done the opposite way. Every day we expect surprises. I’ve always wanted to learn flexibility. I feel like God has been putting me through the very highest level of “flexibility” school. If I don’t learn it, it sure isn’t His fault.

We really, really, really wanted to take the babies out to the patio. We had a little prayer session in the kitchen, and then we went to the office and appealed to the lesser authority, and sure enough, we are granted out wish. Larry and Miguel and Angel and Perla and Linda and Jennifer almost jump out of their skin when we tell them we are going out to the patio. Since some of the bigger projects are done, we are spending a lot more time with the children.

Perla is sleeping all night now. What a blessing. Carolyn and I take turns putting her to bed. She comes back around 8:30, and hangs out with us in the kitchen for about twenty minutes, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and staring curiously at everything we do. Then I hold her and sing her to sleep. She’s usually out in less than ten minutes. I can tell she feels very secure with us. Yesterday she came running to me for a hug when she saw me in the dining room. She looks almost cute when she smiles like that.

Alexander left as suddenly as he had come (something about him being sick and since we haven’t had any children, we don’t know how to take care of him). “The baby with no name” came to join us instead. He’s four months old, and his little brother said his name is “Bebe.” I don’t think his parents named him. He had been breastfed, and is having a struggle adjusting to a bottle. Poor Debbie and Renee (and me, too, because I hear every little noise) spent some very sleepless nights with him. We want to put him on a schedule. Any hints, all you mothers out there?

Looks like Renee and Debbie are both finished emailing. Maybe that means I’d better stop as well! God bless you all with His peace this week!

With my love,
Liliana