Dear friends,

Truth is stranger than fiction. One night this week someone forgot to lock the front door and the door to the girl’s dorm. In the dark of the night, a courageous 12 year-old??? boy woke his younger brother, sneaked over to the girl’s dorm to find his Downs Syndrome sister and another two-year-old brother. They crept out the front door, past the dogs who guard the front, and somehow (angels???) crawled over the foreboding iron gate or over the wall. In the darkness, they walked for miles until they got to their mom’s house. “The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.” Psalm 146:9

The next morning Mother Virginia got a phone call from the mother. The mother didn’t want her children. Mother Virginia got into the van and brought them back. So they are here again. The big brother regularly defends his Downs Syndrome sister from the taunts of the other children. I feel privileged to know him.

Carolyn and I did laundry again on Monday and on Tuesday. On Monday I was very discouraged when the boys brought three or four barrels of clothes from the boys dorm after they had thoroughly cleaned it. Some of the clothes still smelled like fabric softener. I am fairly certain those were clothes that had fallen on the floor, and instead of putting it back on the shelf, they just threw it into the laundry. The next day we got the boys to help us hang up the pants. I explained to them that they should not throw clothes on the floor, because there is a lot of work to wash them. “That was the little boys,” they claimed. They actually did a good job of hanging up the pants and kept after it better than some of the girls who have helped.

Tuesday afternoon about 5:00 Carolyn and I did the very last load of laundry. Except for two tubs in the corner that we weren’t supposed to touch because they were Mother Virginia’s, we actually finished ALL the laundry. I was so tired I didn’t even care. Two hours later I noticed one of the moms taking out a tub of laundry. Only two hours.

The toddlers are now eating in the main dining room behind the little fence. What an improvement. Now they can at least see a little part of the rest of the world besides one little room and even get a little exercise walking to the dining room and back. The first day they couldn’t eat because there was too much to look at.

Thursday I went along to San Diego to take Carolyn to the airport. I’m really going to miss her advice and common sense. Thankfully she is only going to be gone for three weeks to attend a wedding and spend time with friends. Deborah Myers from Shippensburg is coming Sunday afternoon and staying for eight weeks. I am looking forward to getting to know her.

I am spending the rest of the weekend with Gordon and Janelle. I am loving the soft bed, being able to walk around barefoot, the privacy, the quiet, and Gordon and Janelle’s awesome hospitality. Amy and Jacob Wollman live next door, and they graciously allowed me to use their sewing machine and serger. Someone had donated bags and bags of humongous sheets to the orphanage, but most of them were torn. Yesterday Amy and I cut them to twin bed size, and serged the raw edges on about 45 twin sheets and 14 crib sheets. Amy’s serger was a blessing. Hemming all those sheets with only a sewing machine would have taken hours!

Pray for Matt and Sarah. They came last Thursday and are struggling with adjustments. Gordon was over yesterday and discovered they were packing up to leave. I won’t go to much detail, except to say that Gordon played the role of peacemaker, and persuaded both parties to think about giving it another try. The dynamics of this place are challenging, to say the least. Matt and Sarah have a lot to give to this place. I am hoping they can overlook some of the unpleasantness and stay.

I’ve been wanting to tell you about our exercise fan club. Carolyn and I sometimes go out to the patio in the evening while the children are inside, and walk around and around the patio a bunch of times. Sometimes the children come to the window and chant, “Carolina! Carolina! Liliana! Liliana!” Then we walk around to the other side, and the babies are pressing their little noses against their gate, making noises and trying to get our attention. A little further on, a hand waves from the hole in the ladies’ bathroom wall. A couple times a bunch of teens walked around and around with us.

In the evenings before their bedtime, the little boys sneak into our kitchen to tell us “Good night.” They love to see what we’re eating. Sometimes they hear one of the moms coming and scamper back to their room up the hall. I love to tell them the little phrase I learned since I’m here, “Que duermen con los angelitos,” (that you sleep with the little angels).

If you pray for me, please pray specifically that I could “open my mouth with wisdom” here at La Hacienda. Some things that happen here border on ridiculous, and one of my fears is that in some impulsive moment I would lose control and say things I don’t want to say. I need, need, need your prayers! THANK YOU from my heart!

With my love,
Liliana

Dear friends,

This week Carolyn and I had a “dream.” What would it be like to do laundry until it was totally finished? We asked Mother Virginia if we could, and she actually said yes. We had already done laundry last week Thursday and Friday last week most of the day, so we had already done a fair amount. Monday morning after we took the babies out to the patio, we started again with earnest.

We had piles and piles of sheets that someone had donated. And there were lots and lots of blankets that had been setting there for a long time. And piles and piles of laundry. We found amazing stuff among all the laundry. Dirty shoes. Shampoo. Trash. A skein of thread. Toothbrushes. More trash. Batteries. Cars. Still more Trash. Backpacks.

From Monday through Thursday we did laundry. Carolyn and I kept the five washers running. We had to wring out all the clothes by hand after they came out of the washer. We didn’t wring it out completely, only partly. Then the wash went into the big sinks filled with water and laundry softener to be rinsed. We rinsed it by hand, wrung it out once more, again only partly. Next it went into another washer for the spin cycle, and that wrung the laundry thoroughly.

We had teens helping us hang up clothes, and sometimes moms helped us wring out clothes as well. The teens really complained about hanging out the laundry, even though they only had to help for about an hour or two. Thursday Lis had to help hang out clothes for the second day in a row, and she started grumbling. I told her I had been doing laundry all day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and now Thursday as well. I don’t know what she thought, but she did hang out laundry again that day.

Most of the days we could only wash till 1 or 2 o’clock because the lines got full. Thursday afternoon Carolyn and I were delighted, because we actually had all the laundry done, except a few trash bags of backpacks and some “fresh” laundry that had come out that day. We figured on Friday we would only have to wash for two hours or so to finish. Our dear orphanage would actually see the day that ALL the laundry was done. I am fairly convinced that that has never happened in the whole history of the place. Carolyn and I couldn’t wait till Friday morning to see our dream realized.

Friday morning I went down the hall to use the bathroom, and the water didn’t come at all. A few hours later it came, but it was only a trickle from the reservoir on the roof that they use when the “street water” doesn’t come. Our dream had to die for this week. Maybe next week. . .

Friday we went along to get the high scholars get their uniforms. I’m not quite sure why we were sent along. There were four adults with eight teens. We sat around most of the time while they stood in line.

The teen girls ask us lots of questions. Why do we wear dresses? Wouldn’t we want to wear jeans sometimes? Some of them are pretty convinced the reason we don’t have boyfriends is because of the way we dress. What for guy would want a girl dressed like us? Why don’t we put on some jeans and a cool top and go out on the streets of Tijuana and find ourselves a boyfriend? We’re not even tempted.

I really enjoy these opportunities to speak into their lives. They love to hang out with us, amazingly, even though we make them do laundry :-). Pray that God would give me lots of wisdom with their questions, and that they would see the beauty of a Christian life.

Thursday a couple from New York came to live here. Matt and Sarah have always wanted to do something like this, and they are finally here. We will be sharing our kitchen with them. I had been praying a lot about the kitchen situation. I felt bad that they have to share the kitchen with us, because I wanted to make sure they get their privacy. We sat down and talked about how we can work everything out, and discovered that they eat their main meal evenings, earlier than we do, while we just grab leftovers later in the evening. For lunch they grab leftovers, and we don’t eat our main meal till around 1:00. Perfect. Praise God for answered prayer.

We have had a few opportunities to sit down and talk with them, and they have a lot of great dreams for this place. Like organization and schedules. And more supervision for the children. They are very respectful and sensitive. Carolyn and I are very excited about working with them.

This week Carolyn and I were not in the baby room on our regular schedule. I miss the babies. We went back a few times just to hang out with them and help feed them supper. They miss us, too. One day Michel was crying because his mom had left to bathe another baby. Linda was crying because she could see her mom out on the patio. And then Dora cried because I had been holding her, and I had to go. That made my day. Isn’t that terrible?

I don’t feel like I have been very involved with the children this week. I had my Bible story for the children only twice. I don’t want to get too involved in laundry and organization, and not take time for the children and people. All the clean laundry, the organized pantry, the freshly scrubbed dining room floor, etc, is going to burn up someday. Only the people will be left. And they will burn, too, if they don’t hear about God’s salvation. Pray that I would keep that in perspective.

I know I always thank you all for your emails and comments on my blog. But I really mean it. Your encouragement gives me energy. Your prayers will change this place. God bless you all.

With my love,
Lill

Dear friends,

Yesterday we took the toddlers and babies out to the patio for about an hour. They loved it. They sure don´t get outside very often. They were so good, running around on that huge area instead of being cooped up in one room every day. We want to make it a priority and do it at least once a week. I wish Mother Virginia would let the moms do it every day!! For some reason she trusts us to do it, but she doesn´t let them do it. Pray that we can keep having a good rapport with her.

On Friday we spent almost an hour sweeping the patio. The little children take cups down to the one place where there is no concrete, fill the cups with dirt, and spread it one the patio in all kinds of places. The sand gets mixed with all the miscellaneous trash that miraculously appears from who knows where.

We swept the patio with two paltry kitchen brooms, a corn broom with a broken handle, and another flimsy little thing that broke when Carla was sweeping. How I longed for about 2 or 3 big push brooms. A lady from Corazon de Vida, an organization who helps orphanages in Mexico, asked me a few weeks ago to email her a list of things we need here, and push brooms will definitely go on the list. No wonder this place doesn´t stay clean. I would get very discouraged if I would have to keep using some of the cleaning supplies they have here.

We don´t need any more books, CDs, videos, toys, crayons, notebooks, q-tips, toothbrushes, etc. This place is bursting with those. Instead, we need STURDY commercial cleaning buckets, brooms with wooden handles, sturdy laundry baskets, wooden clothespins, etc. Hopefully, Corazon de Vida will be able to help us with some of these things.

Christina and Carla are leaving tomorrow. We will miss their helping hands around here. Four people can get a lot done in a few hours, and now only Carolyn and I will be left to do it. Maybe we will ask the people around here to help us more. That would be a very positive thing, I believe.

Last week some of the teens were helping us hang up laundry, but they were being kind of lazy. I gave them a lecture and asked them if they want to be able to find a job when they grow up. I said they need to learn to work now. I told them I don´t always feel like working either. And that we came to make this house cleaner and better, but we need their help. They actually seemed to be listening.

Pray that Mother Virginia would give us the keys to all the closets around here. So often we have to ask for the keys to put things away or to get laundry soap, food from the pantry, etc, and we waste so much time waiting till someone brings the keys. She told us last night that one time there was a huge room full of toilet paper, soap, etc, and then one day she came back to look at it, and it was totally empty. Some of the moms whom she had trusted with the keys had taken all the stuff out at night (little by little) when she was sleeping, and sold it on the streets. I guess it´s no wonder she doesn´t trust anyone. I believe only God can persuade her to give us the keys. With God all things are possible, even the keys to this place.

Mother Virginia did say last night that she is going to give us the keys to her office so we can use the computer for email whenever we want it. I hope she doesn´t forget about it.

Carolyn is leaving next week on August 23, but she is planning to come back about three weeks later!!!!! I´m so excited. Lord willing, I will stay longer as well, maybe two or three months or more. Deborah Myers, a girl from Shippensburg, will be here during the time Carolyn is gone and longer, so I won´t be here by myself.

I´m very excited about staying!!! There are so many things that we started here, and I would hate to leave them unfinished. God has blessed us in many, many ways here. He has given us the respect of the moms and abundant love from the children. Pray that we could daily display Jesus here.

This house is full of pain. Yesterday little Don Michel came. His eyes reflected the sadness in his heart. I sat down and talked to him for awhile, and he said spirits entered his body, etc. Very strange things coming from the mouth of a little boy. I told him that God is much more powerful than any spirits, and I prayed for him out loud. Later he said he was scared of the bathroom, and he asked me if I could sit outside while he used it. I did, and then I talked to him some more. When I went off to our room, someone told him that our room is just down from his room. That made him very happy, and when I left, he said, ¨Que le vaya bien,¨ (that it goes well with you), and smiled. The children here seem happy most of the time, but last night I cried for Don Michel.

This morning he wasn´t here anymore. People come and go here, and we don´t always know why. I thought I had finally figured out all the names around here, but then more moms and children came. Who knows why or from where.

Thanks again for all your emails, comments on my blog, etc, and most of all for your prayers. We need your prayers desperately. God bless all of you who pray for us!

Only because of Him,
Liliana

Dear friends,

Remember Alicia from my last update? She was the one who seemed to by trying to avoid the Catholic mass. One day last week her son Jose (11 or 12 years old) somehow escaped from the high walls and went to find his dad. The next day the dad came to take away his wife Alicia and her two girls. Alicia told me that the reason she had come in the first place is because her mother-in-law had been hitting her. Now they are moving to a different place. I am so happy for her. Bravo, Jose, for being a man and rescuing your mom and sisters!

I heard Mother Virginia telling Alicia that if someone rings the bell at the gate to ask to visit one of the mothers, Mother Virginia will decide whether that person may talk to her. Even if it is that woman’s husband. From our perspective, Mother Virginia is definitely the one in control. The mothers here have it tough. They seem to have few rights.

This week, the maintenance man got fired. Someone told Mother Virginia that he called Margarita, the woman in charge of the baby room, on Cindy’s cell phone, and tried to persuade her to go with him and leave this place. Margarita was very upset and insisted it was not true. She claims that he was painting the lockers in the room beside the girl’s bathroom, but whenever someone would need to use the bathroom, he would respectfully go into the hall and wait till they were finished. He wasn’t a man like that. I have no idea who I can believe around here. Right now I don’t trust anyone except Carolyn and Karla and Christina.

Last night, Ana, Alexander’s mom, pushed him onto the floor again. I suppose Alexander will be with us every night again. For about a week now, Ana had been taking care of Alexander every other night, and Christina the other nights. Christina has been doing a great job with Alexander, but she was feeling weary of taking care of him every night. We thought Ana might be able to take Alexander every other night. Ana is only 15 years old, and a rather immature 15. Does anybody want to adopt Alexander? The only problem is that if you want to adopt a baby from Mexico, you have to live in Mexico for two years first. That seems rather stringent, but maybe not in light of the fact that some people were reportedly “adopting” babies, and then killing them and selling their body parts.

I found Christianbook.com on the internet and now I’m listening to their samples of classical music while I’m writing. I was missing beautiful music so badly! I tried to access Pandora’s Music Radio, but they will not let me access that here in Mexico.

This week Gordon and his boys finished building shelves in the pantry. This probably doubled or tripled the storage space in the pantry. We girls gave the shelves two coats of paint, and Monday we have the exciting job of putting everything in proper order. Now food donations that come in can be arranged on shelves instead of being dumped on the floor or jammed into the pharmacy or stuffed into the baby closet or in the blanket closet or in the office, or in some dark corner. Little by little this place is becoming organized!

Yesterday we went on a field trip with about 40 of the children. At first Geno, the lady in charge, was very strict. Everyone stayed sitting very nicely on the bus. “If you don’t, you will not be allowed to go along the next time.” When we got to the next place, Geno relaxed a little. The children all suddenly needed to use the bathroom, and soon children were running down the halls of the big building, screaming because hearing their own echoes was so much fun. I was mortified because some of the staff there thought us girls were their teachers. During a video of the founding of Tijuana, the children were more intrigued by the comfortable upholstered chairs and the holes where you could set your drink than the fact that Tijuana was very popular during the temperance movement when people would cross the border and buy their liquor and whiskey here.

The children were thrilled with the park where they could play on the GRASS. They rolled on it and raced around on it and wrestled on it. Our orphanage has no grass. Only dirt.

I am amazed to see a pattern of order with the clothes here. We have a spot for baby clothes, a different place for little children’s clothes, and another place for big boys’ clothes. With a little work it could be perfected, and we could get rid of the mountains of clothes around here. If they would wash every day of the week, or at least three days a week, the laundry could be kept after. Instead, they don’t wash for a week or so. Then suddenly they get into gear, and spend long, hard days doing loads and loads and loads of laundry. Maybe that is just part of their culture, I don’t know. Quite different than my mom who throws in a load or two of laundry almost every day.

God has been blessing us with safety. I almost forget to thank Him for that. We have gotten lost at least twice, and had a close call with our vehicle, etc., but we always manage to get out of our escapades just fine. Just wanted to give Him some glory for that!

Thanks to all who are praying. I find my biggest need here is LOVE. Love is patient. Impatience is one of my biggest weaknesses. Love is kind. I’m not always kind. Love suffers long. I do not like to suffer long. I wonder, “Did they see Christ when I was acting like that?” Please pray that the people here would see Jesus working through me.

God bless you all,
Lillian

The date on this post is wrong. I wrote this July 28, and forgot to post it, so here it is!!

This e-mail is going to be short. We are planning to go to the beach tomorrow, so we won´t be able to go to the Internet cafe. Abe and Margaret from the Shining Light Orphanage are going back to Canada, so we want to spend one weekend yet with some of their girls.

By the way, last Sunday morning, we went to the beach as well, but that was not planned. Gordon gave us directions to get to Tecate without using the toll road, but somehow we ended up in Rosarito. We were quite shocked when the security guard at the gas station told us we were an hour from Tecate. According to our map, we thought we were maybe five minutes from Tecate. Praise God, He takes care of directionally challenged ladies, and we found our way back!

I feel sorry for the moms here. Two of the toddlers in the baby room saw their moms walk past today, and naturally they wanted to be with them, so they started wailing. But the moms have their own responsibilities, perhaps in the kitchen or in the laundry, and they are not really supposed to play with their children. The only time they can be with their children is at night. Often they have to share their bed with their child. A bed in a big dorm with all kinds of other children and moms. Privacy. They probably don´t even know what the word means.

The moms never get out. Juana said she is very bored here. There is nothing to do. Juana is about twenty years old, and has a little boy. She told me she doesn´t have any family here. I wonder why she doesn´t get a job and try to support her little boy. Could she find a job if she wanted to?

We had a grand time today. Anybody who knows me well knows how much I love to organize. I love, love, love to organize. We designated a huge closet for stuff for only the babies. Boxes and boxes of baby wipes. Boxes and boxes of pampers. About thirteen babies or toddlers wear diapers, so we need lots and lots. Now they are in only one place, instead of many different places, and we have them in the order of size.

My biggest fear is that when more donations come in, all the miscellaneous stuff will get stuffed in that closet, because there are some empty shelves. That´s what happens. Stuff gets stuffed wherever there´s room. But more shelves are being built, and I actually have hope for the stuff.

Today we took out boxes and boxes of adult pampers, and donated them to a women’s rehab. Hopefully we can get rid of anything that they don´t use here. We also found a huge garbage bag full of syringes. What could an orphanage do with a bag full of syringes? Take out the needles and let the children play with them? I talked to a lady from another orphanage, and one time someone donated used dentures. Maybe the moms here could use them someday.

Irazema (13 years old) was in the office a few minutes ago. I asked her what I should write about her. She told me I should say that I always tell her that her eyes talk. Her eyes tell me when she is sad or when she is happy or when she is mischievous. I don´t think she´s supposed to be in the office, because she seems kind of uneasy about it. Mother Virginia must be around. Everyone knows whether Mother Virginia is here or not.

I ache for Alicia and her family. They just got here this week, and I can tell they are trying to find their place here. Alicia knew some of the songs I sing, and I have a feeling she´s a Christian. She smiles a lot. Her eyes don´t smile, though. Yesterday everyone had to go upstairs while the father came to have misa (mass). Alicia went upstairs with all the mothers, but she soon came down again. She told me her girls were thirsty. I hope she dreams up another excuse for next week. And the next. And the next.

Last week a few of us went upstairs to see what the mass is like. The only thing I really objected to was the father´s reference to Mother Mary, how she takes care of them and protects them, and obviously the reference to the bread being the actual body of Christ. Other than that, the mini sermon seemed to be scripturally sound, and they sang some songs that we sing.

Well, I need to run. Thanks to the many who sent emails again this week. I would like to send at least a short note to all of you, but I might not accomplish that. I hope you all realize what a huge blessing your news is to me. I appreciate it immensely. God bless all of you who are praying as well. I don´t know if I could survive without your prayers; I feel constantly lifted up.

With my love,
Lill Stoltzfus